Ep. 081 SETTLING IN 🎧 The Fitness Matters Podcast with Pahla B - Pahla B Fitness

Ep. 081 SETTLING IN 🎧 The Fitness Matters Podcast with Pahla B


Here's The Scoop

In today’s podcast, I’m sharing tips for getting through these thorny🌹 areas when we’re settling into a new ROLE🎭,, PLACE🏠, or MINDSET💭

All the Details

Do you sometimes feel that you’re treading water🏊 with certain aspects of your life?  You may  have uncertainty about what’s coming next or feel as if you’ve lost your footing🦶 a bit.

Lemme tell ya, I’ve been there too! 


In today’s podcast, I’m sharing tips for getting through these thorny🌹 areas when we’re settling into a new ROLE🎭, settling into a new PLACE🏠, or even settling into a new MINDSET💭

In today’s podcast, I’m sharing tips for getting through these thorny🌹 areas when we’re settling into a new ROLE🎭, settling into a new PLACE🏠, or even settling into a new MINDSET💭 about weight loss and fitness! 

I’m sharing practical examples galore from my own life to make this topic PERFECTLY RELATABLE🙌, and I invite you to join me – let’s GO! 

(Don’t wanna listen? Download the transcript here)

Find this episode on YouTube (video below) or on iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play.

https://youtu.be/HeGYC53z1lo

Can’t see the video? Click here to watch it on YouTube: https://youtu.be/HeGYC53z1lo

RESOURCES MENTIONED:
The Life Coach School Podcast with Brooke Castillo Ep. 268: The Capacity to Have https://thelifecoachschool.com/podcast/268/
The Killer B Hive Facebook Group
https://goo.gl/fqtMXU
What happens AFTER you lose weight?
https://pahlabfitness.com/what-happens-after-you-lose-weight-or-run-a-marathon-or-meet-your-awesome-epic-goal/
Ep. 045: How I JOURNAL for Success
https://pahlabfitness.com/how-i-journal-for-success/
Ep. 040: Stop Thinking POSITIVELY
https://pahlabfitness.com/stop-thinking-positively/

Want to learn more about mindset and how to make it work in your life? Join the Get Your GOAL Coaching + Accountability Facebook group here!  https://pahlabfitness.com/get-your-goal/

If you found this podcast helpful, be sure to SHARE it with your friends!  💛

Settling In (Full Transcript) 

You’re listening to the Fitness Matters podcast with Pahla B, and this is episode number 81, “Settling In.”

Well, hello, hello. You guys, I did it. Okay. I actually almost said that without drama. That was pretty cool. I am really excited about today’s episode of the Fitness Matters podcast, where every week we talk about the fitness matters that matter to you. And this one, I’m going to tell you right now, it might not matter to you. You might not think that it matters to you. Let me phrase it like that because for the longest time, I didn’t think this topic applied to me until I am finding myself in the middle of settling in. I’m going to explain all about it here in just a second.

First of all, let me tell you as I have been doing recently, thank you for all the ratings and reviews. I’m so excited about them. Every time I see a new one, it tickles me that you guys would say such nice things about the podcast. And I so totally appreciate that. So thank you especially if you are listening specifically on iTunes. Many listeners find me there. And I’m pretty sure that you can leave some kind of rating or review on Spotify also, I don’t know. I don’t actually use Spotify. I apologize. I use iTunes and the podcast app for everything. So I’m not super familiar with all of the other places where you can listen to podcasts. I know you can. I know that when I put the podcast together, I signed up to have my podcast on all of them. I went out of my way and signed up on Google Play, signed up on Podbean, and a couple of other places, too. I have Spotify, also. And SoundCloud is actually where I upload my podcasts.

I don’t know if you know anything about podcasting. It has absolutely nothing to do with today’s topic, but I’m going to tell you anyway just because you might be interested, just because maybe you want to start a podcast. You have to have a podcast platform that you start with. A lot of people use things like, I think it’s called Libsyn or Podbean or SoundCloud or Spotify as the primary source. And then what you do is, you have a feed that goes out to other places. So you have to have a primary source. The primary source that I use is SoundCloud. And the only reason I use SoundCloud is because my kids use SoundCloud. They’re always listening to music there. So I had heard of it, and I was like, “All right, I’ll give it a try.” This is how I make business decisions. This is everything you need to know about me making business decisions. If my kids do it, it must be cool. Right?

So anyway, thank you for leaving ratings and reviews at all of the different places that you can leave ratings and reviews. Let’s talk about our topic. Okay. First of all, let me tell you what I mean by settling in. Settling in is something that I heard about quite some time ago, probably when I very first started listening to the Life Coach School podcast. I subscribed to that podcast in January of 2019, so I’ve been listening for two and a half years now at this point, if you are listening to this one when it comes out.

Brooke Castillo, the woman who does the Life Coach School podcast, and where I got certified as a life coach, she talks about “the capacity to have.” I remember the first time I heard her talking about it. I was like, “I don’t get it.” I think some of it is because of just that phrase, “the capacity to have.” It’s a little bit . . .  I’m going to say it’s oblique, and I’m not sure if that’s exactly the word that I’m looking for, but it’s the word that is coming to me so that’s the word I’m going to use.

But the reason I’m calling it “settling in” is because that phrase helped me think about it differently. I’ve noticed in my lifetime lots of different ways in which settling in has transpired for me. It’s really funny, because I remember when I was having babies – it was a long time ago because my baby is about to be 21 – how it took me an entire year to even feel like a mom, to be able to comprehend momness. I did not feel in my element at all. I didn’t feel like myself. I didn’t feel like my body was my own. There was nothing about being a new mom that felt familiar to me, so it took me a full year to settle into being a mom.

Now, I mean, after all these years, I can’t picture anything else. I honestly don’t remember what it was like to only be concerned about myself. I really, truly cannot picture that. And that was the hard part for me, just so you know. Not entirely related, but the hard part for me of settling into momness was that I was really, really selfish and self-involved; like, really, really. And I still am. I mean, we all are. That’s kind of what we’re talking about with all of his mindset stuff. We’re all always in our own brains, making everything mean something about us. But I mean, just like physically, like practically on a daily basis. I married my husband, and he was in the military, so he was gone a lot. I didn’t have to take care of him. I do take care of him for some things, but not a lot. I actually just really anticipate that he is capable of handling his own stuff so I don’t take care of him much.

So taking care of a baby was . . .  It was hard. It was hard to get used to it. It was hard for me to wrap my brain around it. It was hard for me to be a mom 24/7. And nowadays, here’s why I think this is kind of funny. Nowadays, I’ve heard people talking about the fourth trimester of pregnancy, and I think sometimes they really do mean the weight loss portion of it. It takes you the three trimesters of pregnancy to put on the weight, and to change your body in one way, and how the fourth trimester is kind of getting your body back, so to speak. Which again, honestly, in my experience, I had my year of settling in.

And right about when I started feeling like, “Okay, maybe, maybe I’ve got my feet underneath me. Maybe I feel like a human being again.” Oh yes, I got pregnant again right away. So I was knocked off my feet again. Not just knocked up, knocked off my feet again. So then I had a whole other three trimesters of pregnancy, the fourth trimester of settling in, suddenly being the mom of two, and all of the things that come with that.

I thought of something else when I thought of this settling in thing. As I mentioned, when we were first married, my husband was in the army. So he was gone all the time. I figured it out one time. In our first four years of marriage, he was actually only home, like living at home, for a year and a half of it. He was gone so much of the time. And the thing that I remember, and maybe this is because of our whirlwind courtship, my husband and I had only been dating for a year before we got married. So we, in my opinion, got married pretty quickly.

And then we literally – literally less than 24 hours after being married – moved to a whole other state, and then he began his military career. We graduated from college at nine o’clock in the morning. He got his commission into the army, because he’d been in ROTC, at two o’clock in the afternoon. And then we got married at 6:30 the same day, like all in one day. And then at noon the next day, we packed up our cars and moved two states away. So there was a lot going on.

So then he was gone all the time. And there’s one thing that I specifically remember, maybe because we didn’t know each other very well. We’d started dating on April 25th, and then he was gone that entire summer until we started the next school year. So we’d only been dating for a month before he was gone for like two months. And then we kind of settled back into the school year, and then we got married, and then we moved, and then he was gone again for, let’s see, we got married in May. He left in August and didn’t come home until Christmas because he was away at Officer School. Here’s why I’m going with this really long story. What I remember about our first four years of marriage was that every time he came back from something, we had what we lovingly referred to as a “period of adjustment,” where we had to get used to each other again.

It was so hard to have him gone and be living my own life, my selfish, self-involved life, as I previously discussed here, where I could do what I wanted. I could sleep how I wanted. I could eat when I wanted. I was living my own life. And then he came back, and it was like, “Oh, we’re married. I share this space with you. I guess you can use my bathroom and my closet and my refrigerator.” Because they were his, too.

So when I think about settling in, those are the parameters by which I understand settling in. And then, I had . . .  Obviously both of those examples are like 20 plus years old. So I have understood the concept of needing to settle into a new role, a new place, a new something, but I hadn’t really applied it to other places in my life, specifically fitness. Even though I did apply it in my life, I didn’t think that I was applying it.

I vividly remember when I first started running, it took me a long time to settle in and think of myself as a runner. I had been running for probably a year before I even said something like “I am a runner.” Now, of course, it’s such a part of my personality. It’s who I am. I can barely remember a time when I was not a runner, so it’s funny to think about not thinking about myself that way.

But really specifically right now in my business, I am settling into a couple of different roles that I’m really struggling with. And it is why this is on my mind and why I wanted to talk to you about it because I’m noticing something. I tell you this all the time, how your brain is the world’s best dog, the most obedient dog. As soon as you ask your brain for evidence that something is true, it will go out and find all kinds of examples, all kinds of ways in which the thing that you are thinking about is true for you.

So right now, in the middle of what I am about to describe to you as my difficulty of settling in, I’m noticing lots of different conversations around in The Killer B Hive [Pahla’s general Facebook group] and in my other Facebook group and on YouTube – all of the places where I’m on social media, where we can talk. I’m noticing conversations about how difficult it can be to maintain your weight after you’ve lost it or how difficult it can be to maintain a certain level of fitness after you have attained it. You guys, the pandemic notwithstanding, and let me be really clear that the pandemic has nothing to do with what I’m about to say. I mean, it does, because people were looking for at-home workouts. The pandemic in 2020 was actually really good for me on YouTube. I still feel really weird saying that.

And here’s why: because I’m making it mean that somebody is going to judge me. You are going to judge me. There’s nothing I can do about that, so here we go. Let me dive in. 2020 was a really good year for me business-wise. To put it into numbers, it took me seven years to get my first 100,000 subscribers, and it’s only going to take me a little over a year to get my second 100,000 subscribers. Financially, I tripled my income from 2019. I’m doing math in my head. You should see my face right now. But yes, I tripled my income from 2019 to 2020.

And now we’re in 2021. Okay, so I had this explosive growth in 2020, which felt amazing. It was everything that I had been working for. From the get go, my goal at the beginning of 2020 was, “I’m hitting 100,000 subscribers, I’m hitting this financial goal. Here are the things that I’m doing. Here is where I’m going.” And I hit all of them. I hit and exceeded every goal I had. I smashed everything that I had wanted for myself for years. The financial goal that I had for myself last year, I’d had that in mind for years, probably at least three or four years, at least, ever since I had allowed myself to start setting goals with numbers. That’s a whole other conversation.

But the 100,000 subscriber goal, I had wanted that one for so long. I had wanted it so bad, I could taste it. I knew it was happening. There was just no way it wasn’t going to happen. And then it did. And then I didn’t know what to do. Now I talked about this actually a little bit at the beginning of this year when we were talking about my time-bound resolutions of this year, about how I was really eager to set a goal for myself that wasn’t easy. It wasn’t like, “Oh, of course, I’m going to get that.” I wanted to go above and beyond. I wanted it to feel absolutely outside of my range of something that I could do.

And I’ll be honest. It still feels outside my range. We’re halfway through the year, and currently, if the rest of my year goes the way the first half of the year goes – which by the way, the second half of my year never goes the way the first half goes, so this is a mindset thing that I am dealing with right now,– I am not on track to hit my goals. Except that, of course I’m on track to hit my goals because I’m going to hit my goals. That is the way that works. I’m going to hit my goals. I still have half a million subscribers in my mind. I’m still working towards that. I’m still believing in that. And yet, it’s not a “but,” because I know you guys are going to call me out on the but. If you’ve listened to my episode about the big but, you know that I don’t want to say the word but there, because that would give way more credence to the second half of my sentence (Ep. 024 The Big “But” https://pahlabfitness.com/the-big-but/).

So in addition to, “I know I’m on track,” I also am still kind of dealing with settling in, with finding my footing underneath me, with dealing with my “capacity to have.” Here’s the way Brooke describes it. I don’t actually have a specific podcast episode number for you for the Life Coach School. I can probably look that up. It’s not going to be beyond me to Google that. And/or you could too, frankly. But she has at least one episode of her podcast, probably several, where she talks about “the capacity to have.” And in fact, I’m pretty sure that some of them, at least one of them, is probably even titled “The Capacity to Have.” I know she talks about this concept fairly frequently, but there’s probably at least one episode where she’s devoted the whole episode to it.

But I never thought that this part was going to be difficult. I thought that once you get your goal – even though I tell you guys all the time that there will still be toilets to clean – I really felt like I was going to be able to go from goal to goal, to goal, to goal, to goal. For years, I was able to do that as a runner, where I went from, “Here’s my 5K PR, and now I’m going to work on my 10K, or my half marathon, or my marathon, or whatever.” With running, I went directly to the next goal, basically every time I hit a goal. And it wasn’t until I’d been running for several years and injured and doing other things that I realized that part of the reason I was always chasing another goal was because I had never really let myself be in the goal.

I had never really allowed myself to be incredibly proud of myself and to feel like I had really accomplished something. I kept chasing one more thing because nothing I was doing really registered as finishing a goal. And the first time I really, really, really dealt with that . . .  Well, I had dealt with it on kind of a small scale before. And this was something that I think I’ve talked about a really long time ago when it was still the Let’s Run podcast.

I referenced what I used to call the “post-race blues,” where that really was kind of a settling in period, where I had to recognize everything that I had been working for, I had accomplished, or in some cases, not accomplished. If I had had a goal that I didn’t quite meet, it wasn’t always about being sad about not meeting my goal. Sometimes I was just sad that I was done with the goal. Sometimes I just had a little bit of decompression time after meeting a goal, because I had had so much mental energy working towards that one goal.

So being able to be in your goal is something that is really hard to kind of wrap your mind around when you’re still in the middle of getting your goal. When you’re in the middle of getting your goal, and you have that much energy moving towards the goal, it’s almost impossible to think about what it’s going to feel like to be in it, to settle into it. But for those of you who are here right now, for those of you who really do feel this on a deep soul level, where you’re like, “Yeah, all I’ve been doing is treading water, and I feel like I’m going nowhere. And I feel like I’m struggling. And I feel like I don’t know what’s coming next,” that is what’s called “settling in,” or “the capacity to have.”

The capacity to exist in your goal is a completely different mindset. And I will tell you that I know for a long time I have talked about how, when you get your goal, you do need to get your brain onto another goal. You do need to give your brain another problem to solve so that your brain doesn’t continue trying to solve the original problem.

And these are basically two sides of the same coin because I do stand by that as my suggestion for what you need to do. Because otherwise – for example, with the case of weight loss – if your brain has been trying to solve your weight loss problem for a month, six months, a year, six years, however long it’s been that your brain has been trying to solve the problem of your weight loss and you go directly from that into, “Now my weight loss isn’t a problem at all,” your brain has so much practice solving that problem, that it’s going to continue to try to solve that problem. And the way that it continues to try to solve that problem is by creating the problem again, by creating a weight gain, so that you have weight to lose.

Your brain is incredibly powerful. It’s so insanely powerful that it can actually create a problem for you that wouldn’t have existed otherwise because it wants to solve a problem. So when you reach your goal, yes, you need to give your brain another problem to solve, and concurrently, you need to work on the mindset of having what you have been wanting. You had wanted whatever it is, your goal, for so long, that now you need to live in it. You have so much experience, so much efficiency because that’s what your brain does; your brain gets really efficient at thinking the same thoughts over and over and over and over and over again. This will be a new thought. “I am a runner.” “I have lost all the weight I wanted to lose.” “I am the healthy weight that I have been aiming for.” “I am a business success.” “I have a hundred thousand subscribers, almost 200,000 at this point.”

You guys, being the person that you wanted to be is very different from wanting to be a person that you are not, that you think you are not. This is the way that I have kind of wrapped my brain around this. At this point, you guys, I got 100,000 subscribers a year ago. It’s literally been a year, and I hit my financial goal in December, so it’s been like six months of kind of treading water, kind of, “Yeah, I have this new goal, but also, do I actually see myself as the kind of person who makes this much money, who has this many subscribers, who is running this kind of a successful business? Am I this person?” It’s been awkward. Awkward is the best word I can use.

I have done a couple of practical, strategic things. Number one, I have simply allowed myself to be awkward. This is some of the best mindset work I’ve ever done on myself, truly. I think of myself as a very awkward person, just in general, like socially awkward, personally awkward. I’m just awkward. And so, allowing myself to just be that is hands down some of the nicest work I’ve ever done. Allowing myself to simply be who I am, in the way that I am, that kind of self-love work goes a long way. So step one, simply love yourself for being who you are and where you are.

Step two for me was to create a kind of mental model for how to think about this. Because I have never had business success like this before. I’ve never had financial success like this before. I’ve never been in this mental space before. I had to kind of analogize it. I don’t even know if that’s a word, but I had to make an analogy with something else that I had done before. And for me, almost always, this comes back to running. Running is the one area of my life where I have A) struggled the most, and B) had the most success, not even in spite of the struggles, but in addition to the struggles.

I have learned so many life lessons from my fitness. It’s why I think fitness matters. I mean, truly it’s why I couch so much of my advice in a fitness arena. For me, it’s where I learned everything. You might have to come at it from a different angle. Maybe you’re the kind of person who has had lots of business success. Maybe you’ve had a great career that you have loved straight out of college. That’s not something I did at all, like at all. So when you can look at your fitness successes through the lens of, “Oh, it was so easy for me to find, for example, relationship success, or financial success, or career success,” or some other kind of success that you’ve had in your life.

I know you’ve had enough success in your life that you can find something where you can kind of almost reverse engineer it. Like, “Oh, well I was super determined to make it through college, and I had it in my mind that I was going to get this job. And I was super excited when I got that job. And then when I settled into that job, there were lots of bumps and lots of different things that I wasn’t expecting, but then now I’ve been in my career for 20 years, and it’s been amazing. And I love it.”

You can look at that, and translate that into your fitness success. Because the fact is, success – all success for any goal, for anything in your life – it all uses the same plan. You have to know what you want. You have to work to get there. You have to change your mind about who you are and what you’re capable of. And then you have to be there and accept it and live in it.

And that “living in it” part for so many of us, it’s left out of the common vernacular. We finished fairytales with, “And then they got married, and they lived happily ever after.” If, for example, I got married 25 years ago. I anticipate hopefully having another, what? 25, 30 plus years? “And they lived happily ever after” is one tiny sentence for the rest of my life to be wrapped up in a teeny tiny little nutshell.

People everywhere on the internet, in your emails, on TV, everywhere, are trying to help you lose weight. Nobody is talking about how to maintain your lost weight. Everybody’s talking about how to get a job; nobody’s talking about how to enjoy the job you have. This settling in thing, we don’t talk about it. We don’t talk about it at all. And I will tell you that there is every bit as much mindset work to be done with settling in as there was towards getting your goal. You know how you had to change everything that you were thinking and really pull apart and be curious about every single thing you were thinking the whole time you were getting your goal? Yeah. Now you have to do that again to be the person who has your goal.

So here’s the way I think about this, because I think about everything through the lens of running. I really, really struggled against recovery workouts when I was first running because I was so eager to just go, go, go, go, go, and get my goal, and have my goal, and be at the goal, and thinking that everything was going to be perfect when the goal, goal, goal . . . I’m just going to keep saying the word goal. It’s going to lose all meaning. But I was so eager to go, go, go towards the goal, goal, goal, that I really, really struggled against recovery workouts, recovery weeks, recovery anything.

And I have learned, as I have gotten better at running, and as I have reached larger and larger goals, that after every big push, you have to settle in and recover. Settling in and recovering is actually when your body physically makes all of its fitness gains. You don’t actually gain muscle while you’re working out. While you are working out – I don’t know if you know this – but biologically speaking, while you are working out, what you are doing is breaking down your muscle. You are actually making teeny tiny little micro tears in your muscles that then recover. And as they recover, they get stronger.

Here’s why, just biologically. Sorry. You know I have to tell you this stuff, right? You know when we start talking about this, I can’t just keep it theoretical. When we start talking about muscles and biology and physical stuff, I have to tell you why. I have to. So here it is.

What happens is when your muscle tears itself, like little tiny micro-tears, obviously it’s still a full muscle. And if you do actually tear your muscle, that’s an injury. That’s different. These little micro-tears, it’s kind of like my cat with a piece of paper. If she scratches the paper, you can see all the little scratches, but the piece of paper is still intact. But in order to be able to do something else with that paper, like write a note on the opposite side, you have to put a bunch of little pieces of tape over all the tears.

Well, biologically, that’s kind of what your muscle is doing. You’ve got all these little micro-tears, and so your body sends out proteins and other stuff. I don’t know all of the actual science of it. I understand it, but I don’t understand it. How about that? So it basically covers up all the little micro tears with more muscle tissue to repair the little micro-tears. And that’s how your muscles get bigger and stronger, and better and faster, and more. And you know, the bionic woman gets that way by little micro-tears, and then you recover from those micro tears, in order to get better.

Recovery, settling in, “the capacity to have,” is when you are actually making some of the biggest changes to who you are. Here’s how this is playing out in my life, right this minute. Right this minute, I am allowing myself to be where I am. I am allowing myself to recover from the whiplash that was last year’s explosive growth. And I am working on another goal, and I am working on my mindset. I’m working on being a person who can have success.

And what that means, from a very practical sense, is that I’m journaling, as I do, and as I suggest you do. In fact, if you’d like to know how I journal, check out episode number 45, titled How I Journal for Success (Ep. 045, How I Journal for Success https://pahlabfitness.com/how-i-journal-for-success/).  I find journaling to be one of the most effective tools for literally any goal you could possibly want, ever, at all in your life.

When you can examine your thoughts, you can see, for example, that you are still thinking that your weight is a problem, that you are still trying to solve the problem of your weight, that you are still thinking of yourself as somebody who doesn’t really run, somebody who is kind of a jogger, somebody who quits what they start, somebody who doesn’t follow through, somebody who doesn’t like to exercise. Guys, when you can see those thoughts on paper, even though you have long, long since proven otherwise by the time you have gotten your weight loss goal or by the time you have gotten your 5K goal, by the time you have gotten any of the kinds of goals that we have talked about here, you have proven that you are not a person who quits. You have proven that you are a person who is capable of doing all the things you need to do to get your goal.

And yet our brains – our wonderful, fascinating, efficient brains – continue to think old thoughts. Find those old thoughts, and really that’s it. Just find them. Find them and recognize them. Recognize that you are still thinking them, and brainstorm some new thoughts that you can tell yourself. Brainstorm some things about you and your “capacity to have,” your capacity to be the person who has gotten a goal. You can simultaneously notice your efficient brain, and allow it to think the things that it’s going to think because it’s going to think them whether you allow them or not. Here’s the thing. Your brain, no matter how much you resist the thoughts that aren’t helpful, is still going to think those unhelpful thoughts because it’s efficient. Your brain is always going to go towards efficiency.

So allow your brain to think the thoughts that it’s going to think. Be okay with it, and create the neural pathways of new thoughts: new, helpful thoughts; new thoughts like, “I am a person who can write a book. I am a person who can be really successful. I am a person who can have 500,000 subscribers. I am a person who can create success. I am a person who has lost weight. I am a person who can do anything.”

When you practice those new thoughts, I’m also going to have you notice how they feel. Because when you are practicing a new thought, and it doesn’t feel believable, part of that is the problem of your efficient brain thinking your old efficient thoughts. And part of that is the fact that your new thought, if it doesn’t sound very believable, isn’t going to stick. So don’t just keep practicing it. You want to find something that feels believable right now, so that practicing it will actually help cement it. We talked about this in Stop Thinking Positively (Ep. 040 Stop Thinking Positively https://pahlabfitness.com/stop-thinking-positively/) because simply putting a new positive thought in your brain is not helpful; truly, not helpful. It’s just putting a band-aid over your old thoughts, and helping you not hear your old thoughts. But as we just discussed a minute ago, your brain is going to continue to think those very efficient, old thoughts forever.

So allow the old thoughts, and practice a new believable thought that can then take hold. When you get to the point where you are settling in – and I know, again, this doesn’t apply to lots of you – I think the biggest thing that I have for you, the biggest piece of advice that I have for you, is kind of where we started this whole thing. Just allow yourself to be here, on both senses of that. Allow yourself to be the success that you are, and allow yourself to be struggling with being the success that you are. Because being the success that you are is new. It’s different. Therefore, according to your brain, it’s scary. When you simply allow yourself to feel all the feelings, to have all of the array of emotions, and all of the thoughts, and all of the experiences, you’ll realize that settling in, even though it feels awkward, as it does, it doesn’t have to be a bad time.

It doesn’t have to be something that you rush through. It doesn’t have to be something where you push yourself to just achieve a new different goal, so that you don’t have to feel this awkwardness and this uncomfortableness and this new thing. Allow yourself to be where you are. Allow yourself to feel the things that you feel when you are here. Allow yourself to not know what it feels like to be successful. Allow yourself the entirety of this experience: the good, the bad, the ugly, the indifferent, the weird, the awkward, the everything. Allowing . . .  I mean, this is just good advice in general. Allowing yourself to be who and where and how you are, is always, always the most loving answer for whatever kind of a problem you might be having – even the problem of settling in, and having your “capacity to have.”

You guys, I know that this wasn’t helpful for some of you because you didn’t think it applied to you. But I promise you that this is just good information to have in your back pocket, for when you are ready to settle in. And I would love to hear about it. You know that. You know that. I would love to hear your experience. What are you relating your fitness experience to? What other success have you had in your life that you are now going to be translating into your success with your fitness matters? I would love to hear about it.

You know where to find me. I’m on social. And rate, review, et cetera. You guys, I love you. I hope you heard exactly what you needed to hear today, and I’ll talk to you again soon.

So are you totally loving this mindset work, and you really want to do it every day, in order to get your goal? Then my friend, you need to join the Get Your Goal group. It is my personal and private, very interactive coaching and accountability group, where every day we talk about your mindset and we get your goal. You can learn all about it at pahlabfitness.com/get-your-goal. I’ll see you in the goal group.

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